You made me cry and you don't even care
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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