True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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