I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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