some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
