Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
