VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
