You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Randomize
