Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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