My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
