Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Randomize
