you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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