Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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