Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
