All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
