I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
