Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
