Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
