Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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