Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
