I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
