So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
