he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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