'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
