so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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