They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i believe in u and ur pee
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
