put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
