Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude i'm inner monologue high
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
