I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Randomize
