i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
