Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You took a bar mat shot.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
