this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
