wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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