What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
