So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
