think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
