he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
