I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
