we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
