I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
