remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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