the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
