Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
birth control should be required to get into college
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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