you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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