Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
