I think i peed on brittanys purse
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
