I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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