After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
