dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
