Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This is the high leading the old right now
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
