Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
