Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
