Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
