my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
